The Trials of Ted Haggard

HBO has produced a documentary on the disgraced pastor Ted Haggard. As luck would have it Haggard was at the top of the world and a major power in the Evangelical Christian arena during HBO’s filming of its “Friends of God” documentary three years ago. Since Ted was the President of the National Association of Evangelicals and had a camera friendly big toothy grin and ah shucks western demeanor, Ted figured prominently in that first HBO documentary.

Then the roof fell in. In 2006 a male escort outed Haggard supposedly because of Haggard’s support for an anti-gay marriage amendment to the Colorado State Constitution. After initial denials, Haggard ultimately admitted to getting a massage from the male prostitute and to purchasing crystal meth. Overnight Haggard went from confidant of the President to shunned pariah. His own congregation basically disowned him.

Haggard still denies actually having gay sex but the Overseer Board at his church concluded that their “investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct."

Haggard committed three boo-boos. First, he went to a prostitute, second he purchased an illegal substance and third he allegedly engaged in homosexual sex. The church seems to be concerned only about the first and third. Personally I find the second far more objectionable, the first only mildly so and the third not at all. Hey, if that’s who you are, to thine own self be true.

With the exception of O.J. Simpson, it would be hard to identify a contemporary individual that has fallen so far so fast. At least Haggard isn’t in jail. I watched part of the HBO documentary and while I’m about the last person to give any kind of priest or pastor, especially a fundamentalist one, any respect whatsoever because, in general, I consider them to be blood sucking scum that prey upon the young, the ignorant and the frightened, I sort of felt sorry for poor Ted.

On an individual basis I know that the blood sucking scum categorization doesn’t always apply. Watching Haggard on the HBO special he struck me either as a good guy that honestly believed the claptrap that he spewed all those years or one hell of a con man that has even managed to sucker me in a little. As part of his settlement agreement with the church he’s had to leave Colorado and is currently living in Scottsdale Arizona (which is not the poor end of the brisket by any means, Scottsdale is nice). The only company that he claims would hire him is a health insurance company that has him trying to sell policies door to door on a commission only basis all over the southwest. Talk about blood sucking scum.

On the other hand, Haggard was paid $138,000 in severance, made $110,000 in the first 10 months of the year he got booted, has a house on Colorado worth an estimated $750,000 yet sent out an e-mail appeal for funds in August of 2007 much to the surprise of the church Overseer board which was supposedly overseeing Ted through his time of “repentance, recovery and restoration.” The appeal was ostensibly to support the family while Ted and his wife were attending the University of Phoenix. I didn’t hear anything about the University of Phoenix on the HBO show, but maybe that was in the part I didn’t see (*cough, cough*).

Sort of strengthens the “con man” hypothesis doesn’t it?

Is he a con man or a saint? I suspect he’s a con man that’s hit rock bottom and it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. I hope HBO didn’t pay him a lot for taking part in the documentary.