Speaker of the House

 The House of Representatives has been without a Speaker for about three weeks now. How did this happen you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Kevin McCarthy was Speaker and, in order to prevent a government shutdown, came to a temporary solution with Democrats to keep the government operating for 45 days.

A number of the right wing caucus types didn't like this and essentially put a motion to kick McCarthy out. It was essentially a no confidence vote. The Democrats gleefully jumped on this and went along with. I think this was a big mistake but there's not much we can do about that now.

First the Republicans put up Steve Scalise but he couldn't get enough votes because the Republicans are hopelessly fractured and the Democrats all voted got Hakeem Jeffries so no one could get an absolute majority. Scalise then withdrew.

Next Jim "The Traitor" Jordon threw his hat in the ring but even the Republicans aren't that far gone so he couldn't get enough votes either. Finally, in a secret ballot the Republicans voted to remove his name from consideration. Again the Democrats all voted for Hakeem Jeffries.

Now nine Republicans have stepped up for the job. eight white guys and one black dude. Apparently there are no women in the Republican Party.

This is happening because the Republicans have a very small majority and a right wing caucus that played hooky when the brains were given out. The rules are also stupid. If simply the person with the most votes, rather than an absolute majority, won then the Republicans would be forced to vote for the guy their party put up or accept a Democrat Speaker.

I have a solution. We rent out MetLife Stadium. We put these nine guys on the field with socks packed with horse manure and let them fight it out. The last man standing becomes Speaker. We could sell tickets plus put it on pay per view and take a big chunk out of the budget deficit.