The Trip from Hell

I’m ambivalent about traveling. I like to see new places, but I’m not fond of the hassles usually involved in getting there and back.

However this last trip is one I’d prefer not to repeat too often.

Leg 1 from Home to Dallas
No issues here. I try to travel as early in the morning as possible in order to avoid woes and delays at the security check in and it worked here. I dragged myself out of bed around 6 AM and hopped on a Limo to Newark Airport around 6:45 AM. No problems on the road and the American Airlines (AA) flight boarded and left on schedule. I spent my lay-over watching the Jets and Chargers. Foolishly I decided to forego eating anything until I got to the hotel in Las Crucas.

Leg 2 from Dallas to El Paso
Things actually started to go sour on this leg two days before the trip began when I got a call from AA that it would be delayed 45 minutes due to an Air Show in El Paso. Well, there wasn’t much I could do about that and it gave me more time to watch the Jets while in Dallas.

We boarded and left at the expected later time and everything was ok until about 15 minutes from El Paso when the pilot came on the intercom. You remember that Air Show? The one that delayed the flight 45 minutes? Well, it still wasn’t over, and we didn’t have enough fuel to circle for as long as they wanted us to circle. So the pilot turned around and headed for Midway-Odessa airport about halfway between Dallas and El Paso.

We proceeded to land, refuel (I wonder who pays for that?) and sit for a little over an hour. We then took off and proceeded on the 45 minute or so flight to El Paso. That was the first time, in the hundreds of flights I’ve taken, that I’d ever been diverted to another airport for any reason. The irony of that statement will become apparent later.

All of the delays included, I got into El Paso about 3 hours later than I originally expected. The really bad part about this was I was stuck in a windows seat. I have a bad left knee and I really need an aisle on my left so I can stretch my foot out but I figured I could survive the short flight. By the time I got off the plane I could barely limp. The pain was bad until I managed to get some Advil the next afternoon and that helped a little. I clearly did some additional damage during that flight somehow.

Now, another reason I like to travel early is to avoid driving in unknown territory when it’s dark. I had never been to El Paso and I still needed to drive to Las Crucas New Mexico. I did get to see the sunset over Fort Bliss as we landed though.

By the time I got the car (a Nissan X-Terra) there was little more than a glimmer over the horizon; by the time I got on Interstate 10 West, it was dark; as I entered New Mexico it was pitch black. I only had a vague idea of how far it was so I started cursing profusely when, after already having driven for a while on IS 10, I saw a sign saying I had 42 miles to go. My knee managed to forcefully remind me of its presence for the entire trip.

The only thing that went well on this leg was the hotel was easy to find and I settled in until 5:30 AM the next morning although my knee managed to insure that I tossed and turned trying to locate a way to make it happy rather than sleep.

Leg 3 to White Sands Missile Range and Back (5 times)
Over the next week it was get up at 5:30 AM, shower, shave, hop downstairs for some free breakfast (scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, coffee and even some French Toast) and then, around 6:30 AM, head for WSMR about 35 miles over the mountains and then to my assigned area which was another 20 miles into the desert. That 20 miles included a 3 mile detour over desert because a stretch of the road was being repaired. I don’t know how many times I took that 20 mile drive over Nike Ave as either a driver or a passenger. I’m guessing at least 15 times over the week. During the entire week I popped a pair of Advils about once every 4 hours including in the middle of the night when my knee reminded me it was time.

If you like food, don’t go to WSMR. The top cuisine was Subway (which ran out of turkey, ham and chicken one day) and that was at headquarters 20 miles back over Nike Ave. Out at the post in the desert you got Boo’s Barbeque at lunchtime. Other than that it was snacks from the vending machine or go out and try to catch some wildlife.

I ate lunch at Subway twice and Boo’s once. That once was more than enough. The other two days I settled for a dark chocolate candy bar.

As for dinner, two days I got back in time to eat at Appleby’s in Las Crucas which I figured was slightly better than the McDonald’s next door. The other three days, including the evening I arrived, it was a bag of popcorn from the free hotel popcorn machine and a free root beer soda.

After five days of this I planned to relocate to El Paso on Friday afternoon in order to (1) get a decent meal and (2) get a decent night’s sleep for my 8 AM flight Saturday morning.

Sure, fat chance. I didn’t get out of WSMR until after 7:30 PM. That meant I had the pleasure of driving the 50 miles or so back to El Paso in the dark and then I had the additional pleasure of finding the hotel in the dark.

How hard could that be? It was at the airport. Yeah, right. The problems were (1) it was really dark and (2) there were no signs! People in El Paso must think it’s unnecessary to tell you what road you’re on anytime after you get on it. I found the Radisson; I found the Marriott; I found the Microtel, a gas station, a 7-11 and the rental car return but I couldn’t find the damn Wyndham.

I’m not the kind of guy that won’t ask for directions. I ask. I asked in the 7-11 and the girl sweeping the store didn’t know. I stopped in the gas station and the guy sweeping the mini-mart didn’t know either but he thought it was in the airport (duh, no kidding).

The problem was the hotel was on Airport Ave. Getting on Airport Ave. from IS 10 was easy but right after you entered the airport the road splits three ways and there was nothing to say which was Airport Ave.

The first time I went to the left and that got me out the other side of the airport where I found the 7-11. The next time I went to the right which got me to the main terminal, the rental car return and out the other side of the airport again. On my third try I went center and bingo, with a sign about the size of a large manila envelope, was the Wyndham. You would think hotels would want a really big sign visible from miles away wouldn’t you?

So much for dinner that night. I managed two fruit & nuts nature bars, six Oreo cookies and a bottle of water. I then popped two Advils and settled in until 5 AM the next morning. The room did come with a free breakfast buffet but that didn’t start until after I was long gone in the morning.

Leg 4 El Paso to Dallas
Considering the way things had gone so far I was a little concerned about this leg. I only had 40 minutes in Dallas to make my connection to Newark. If you know Dallas International Airport, you understand how easily that 40 minute limit can be blown through no fault of your own.

To my surprise, the flight from El Paso left on time, landed a bit early and, wonder of wonders, the gate for my flight to Newark was in the same terminal as the gate where my flight from El Paso landed. Ok, I landed at C4 and had to schlep to C31 with my knee objecting every step of the way but what the heck. The other minor downer was C31 is about the only gate in the whole Dallas airport with no food place in sight but I only had about 15 minutes before the flight boarded anyway.

Leg 5 Dallas to Newark
As I settled into my comfy 26D aisle seat on American Airlines flight 558 and stretched out my left leg luxuriously, I figured I was home free. Yes, I had heard the rumors about snow but it was only October. I was sure we’d just get some light flurries. No big deal. Goes to show you what I know.

About an hour and a half out of Newark, the pilot came on with the wonderful news that all New York area airports, including Newark, were closed due to the snow, and he had to divert to Raleigh-Durham.

WHAT!

I had never had a flight diverted before and now I had the pleasure twice on one trip. Once we landed I called home to get the joyous news that our power was out. They did let us off the plane though. That allowed me to wolf down some KFC and buy a new paperback to read since I had finished the one I brought with me.

After about an hour we got back in the plane and confidently headed for Newark. About half-way there the pilot came on with a little bad news that Newark was struggling with the snow and that we had to circle for about a half hour. Forty minutes later we got the news that we were heading back to Raleigh-Durham.

Again they let us off the plane and I decided I better recharge my cell phone. I was only at it for 10 minutes or so when the word came that the flight crew had exceeded their legal flight time limit and, since no replacement crew was available, we would be spending the night in Raleigh-Durham.

I ran back on the plane to grab my laptop and forgot to take both the book I had just bought and the one I had finished. Even though we boarded the same plane again the next day, I never saw them again.

I’m going to say that the AA agents at Raleigh-Durham did Ok. They did do a few things that made me grind my teeth but overall they managed to get everyone a place to stay. It took about an hour and I was far from the last person because they appeared to call for each person individually.

I got a room at the Holiday Inn, a dinner voucher for $12 and a breakfast voucher for $7. I managed to squeeze into a very full courtesy van to the hotel where I suddenly realized the problem. How many check-ins would one normally expect at a Holiday Inn in Raleigh-Durham around 9 PM Saturday night? Yeah, I wouldn’t expect many either and neither did the Holiday Inn. That left one poor clerk trying to check in the hordes that descended on her.

I actually did pretty well and managed to get my room in about 45 minutes. Some folks were in line until after Midnight. Then I tried to spend the $12 voucher. Forget it. There was an hour wait for even the simplest sandwich at the “Restaurant” at the hotel (which was really a lobby bar with a few tables and a kitchen in back) . One guy at the hotel suggested the Hooter’s next door and I clawed my way up the grass hill to get there despite the objections of my knee only to find out they didn’t accept airline vouchers.

Allow me to digress a bit. I had never been in a Hooter’s before. I’m not a prude; the option had just never presented itself as a solution for anything at any time. From the short time I was in there all I can say is I wish I was 40 years younger.

I slunk back to the hotel and hit the sack. At 5 AM I got up preparing to head for the airport and the 7:40 AM continuation of the infamous flight 558.

I caught the shuttle back to the airport to find a line zigzagging all through the lobby. Luckily, the AA folks were nice enough to provider a special drop off place for our baggage so waiting on the line was unnecessary.

I did manage to grab a breakfast sandwich and headed on down to Gate D19 (which I had been told would be the departure gate). D19 was completely deserted. So were gates D16, D17 and D18. I checked the Departure Board and there was no flight 558.
In fact there were no flights to Newark at all.

Hmmm. I dialed the 1-800 number they had given us to check the departure time and gate and they told me C22 which was completely on the other side of the terminal. As I munched my breakfast sandwich I debated. Stay at D19 or head for C22. I finally decided that the airport clerk was more likely to be right than the phone line clerk and held my ground.

Good choice, as C19 was the right gate.

Only one minor problem, they hadn’t de-iced the plane. A sudden cold snap in Raleigh-Durham had the ground crews scrambling to de-ice and we were an extra flight. That translated into an hour delay and we finally bid adieu to Raleigh-Durham around 8:45 AM Sunday Morning.

After finally landing at Newark, I located my limo driver and we managed to limp around all of the down trees and branches to finally arrive at my home sweet home about an hour after leaving Newark.

My very dark and cold home sweet home because the power (and heat) were still out.

It is now Tuesday afternoon and the power is still out. Supposedly PSE&G has restored power to 83% of its customers. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. Personally I don’t consider the trip over until I get power and heat back. I’m freezing my tail off. I wanted to go to a hotel but for some bizarre reason my wife didn’t want to go.

If it’s still out tonight, I’m going. Whether she comes or not is up to her.

I'm not that annoyed with American Airlines. They weren't perfect but they did pretty well. PSE&G on the other hand I'm ready to tar and feather.

A block in any direction from my house and there's power. Mine's been out since early Saturday afternoon while other people had it go out for only a few hours on Sunday. WTF guys? Doesn't the length of time its been out factor in?

To add insult to injury I called their automated line to see if I could get an estimate on when power would be restored. It said by Friday December 2nd. Here's hoping the guys doing the repairs are smarter than the guy that created the message.