Jesus Dolls at Wal-Mart

Sure, why not? Remember the Jesus dolls from last year that made Toys for Tots scratch its head as to whether they should be accepted? Now Wal-Mart has announced that they will be available at Wal-Mart stores right next to G.I. Joe, Barbie and Bratz.

Along with the dolls will also be “Tales of Glory “figurine play sets depicting various biblical stories including Moses and the Ten Plagues and Jesus Walks on Water. There’s even a 13” “Spirit Warrior” Samson doll to play bodyguard to the 12” “Messenger of Faith” dolls.

The line has expanded since last year and has added Peter, Paul and Mary (complete with guitars?) to the Jesus, Esther, Moses, Noah and David dolls (If I had a Hammer, I’d Hammer in the Morning…).

Apparently Wal-Mart plans to sell the toys at 425 of its 3,250 stores. Most of these stores will be in the South and Midwest (DUH, I wonder why?).

All of the toys are made by the One2Believe Company, whose president is apparently a true believer and devout Christian determined to provide an alternative to Christian parents that feel uncomfortable with today’s toy choices.

So instead of G.I. Joe blasting Osama Bin Laden, Spiderman foiling the Gremlin or the Bratz clique swooning over the latest fashion accessories, you can have Jesus feeding the multitudes with a few loaves and fishes or Moses convincing Pharaoh to let his people go.

I assume that this is a trial and is apparently scheduled to begin at the end of August since the manufacturer is urging people to go to Wal-Mart on August 18 and ask about the toys. Yeah, if I was the manufacturer I’d be trying to convince people to do that too.

Nah, I think this guy’s motives are pure. He’s a VERY successful plush toy manufacturer with some big time contracts and probably doesn’t need the money. He’s doing this because it’s something he believes in.

What I don’t understand is why the end of August? Depending upon where you are in the country, the kiddies have either just gone back to school, or are preparing to go back to school, and with all the expanses that usually entails, shelling out money for clothes and school supplies, how many people are going to be considering buying toys? Sounds like an experiment designed for failure unless they figure it’s the second largest period of volume next to Christmas. And God forbid that Wal-Mart should allocate toy shelf space around Christmas for something they’re not absolutely positive is going to sell.

So, what’s my take on all this? Hey, I want me one of those Moses and the Ten Plagues play sets. I mean, hell, where else can you get a toy bush covered with locusts?

Seriously, I say more power to them. Sell the toys. I’m sure lots of parents will buy them for their kids and the kids will love them. Whether they will use them the way the parents want them to use them might be another story. I can just see Jesus and Ken on a double date to the mall with Barbie and one of the Bratz.

To be honest with you, something like the Esther doll looks a lot safer to me than those Bratz thingies with their focus on shallow fashion nonsense and their unrealistic physical attributes. At least Esther looks like a normal dowdy kind of young girl. I do sort of feel a little squeamish about a Mary doll though. That must be my early Catholicism seeping through.

All kidding aside, I think it’s a great idea. Why shouldn’t Christian parents have the option to buy toys that they feel are appropriate for their kids? I mean, hell, Christians have never tried to stop things they don’t approve of, such as Harry Potter books, from being available to the rest of us have they? (*cough, cough*).

I don’t see this as any worse than Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars Jedi or Harry Potter play sets. I mean, they’re all fictional as well aren’t they? Let the market decide. If they sell well in the 425 pilot stores then I’m sure they’ll be coming to a Wal-Mart near you. Not near me, because I don’t have any Wal-Marts near me. I think they violate three or four hundred zoning ordinances in Bergen County New Jersey so they’re not allowed.