The Book of Daniel

Yes, I watched the NBC TV program last Friday. I don’t watch a lot of network TV but I was just too curious to pass up the two hour premier.

I really don’t know what to make of this show. The central character is Daniel Webster, an Episcopal Priest hooked on codeine based pain killers and brother can I understand why he’s popping pills all the time.

Let’s start with his immediate family which consists of one semi-neurotic wife Judith who likes her martinis, one gay Republican son Peter, one pot selling manga cartoon artist daughter Grace, one adopted Asian son Adam working on breaking Don Juan’s record for amorous encounters and, I think, one deceased son that was lost to Leukemia. I don’t know how old the Asian son is, but his primary paramour is only 16!

Now one could survive this if the siblings weren’t so damned nasty to each other. I suspect whoever wrote the script has only a vague understanding of the boundaries of sibling rivalry. There are things one doesn’t do when outsiders, including members of the extended family, are present but Grace and Adam really seem to be unable to not blatantly hint at Peter’s sexuality especially when it’s guaranteed to embarrass him.

Speaking of the extended family, Daniel’s father is an Episcopal Bishop and his mother is suffering from some form of mental degenerative disease which has resulted in Papa Bishop shacking up with Daniel’s administrative Lady Bishop. Yes, Daniel’s Bishop is a woman. I believe Daniel also has a brother who is a priest but we didn’t meet him in the first episode.

Now on to Daniel’s in-laws and friends. His wife’s sister, Victoria, had a husband that Daniel apparently hired to administer the church’s school building fund. What’s a little nepotism among relatives right? We didn’t meet him because he took off with the $3 million school construction fund! Daniel learns about this from his banker, on the golf course, after the building contractor hands him a bounced check. Now it gets good. Rather than calling the police, Daniel looks for help from Father Frank, a Catholic Priest with friends in, shall we say, the underworld. You know, the Mothers And Fathers Italian Association. Father Frank’s buddies initially locate a dead brother-in-law, but no money. At the end of the show Father Frank shows up with some good news and some not so good news. His friends found the money but only if Daniel uses the “right” construction company. The show leaves the resolution of this little problem for next time.

At the brother-in-laws funeral, Victoria ends up chasing her husband’s secretary while yelling “bitch.” Yes things have changed on Network TV. We only find out later that a) the three of them were a ménage a trios and b) now Victoria is having a lesbian affair with the secretary.

To further confuse the situation, Papa Bishop doesn’t know about his gay grandson and is working hard on fixing Peter up with a nice girl from the church choir. Peter seems more interested in the girl’s older brother whose sexuality we’re left to guess at the moment. Back at the church, the Lady Bishop keeps hitting Daniel up for some of those pills he pops.

I imagine Daniel would have gone totally bonkers by now if Jesus didn’t show up from time to time, literally, to have a chat. The show’s idea of Jesus is a robed, bearded Caucasian hippy type that tends to take everything in stride. Some of Jesus’ lines in the show are absolutely classic (Note that the quotes are approximate based upon my memory of the show).

When Daniel asks him about healing his sick mom, Jesus says “You know it doesn’t work that way.”

When the sister-in-law’s lesbian affair surfaces, Jesus shakes his head and says “You never can tell can you,” at which point Daniel looks at him and says “I thought you were all knowing?”

As things go from bad to worse, Jesus says “Life is hard, that’s why the reward at the end of it is so wonderful.”

When Daniel asks for some idea about what the future holds Jesus replies, "I told you before, I'm not a fortune teller."

One other little happening is Daniel’s pre-marital counseling for a nice young couple that are, as the old saying goes, “living together in sin” and the girl can’t make love unless she’s stoned on grass. Daniel’s advice is for them to talk out their fears. When they do so, they realize that they’re afraid of marriage and decide to stay single and living together.

I really don’t know what to make of this show. I wasn’t certain whether I was supposed to laugh, cry, howl with rage or just stare open mouthed at the screen. Predictably some conservative Christian groups are unhappy about the show. Actually they were unhappy before the show was aired, I assume now they would be absolutely foaming at the mouth! The American Family Association was calling for a boycott of the show before it aired and claims that the network has gotten 400,000 e-mails complaining about the show, but NBC hasn’t confirmed or denied that number.

Besides, the e-mails are irrelevant. The fate of the show will be decided by the ratings. If they’re good, then NBC will stick with the show and the AFA can go pound salt. If they’re lousy, then NBC will dump the show and the AFA can take credit for getting it dropped. And, in a capitalist democracy, that’s how it should be.

Two points I will comment on. First the AFA accuses the show of Christian bashing. I don't see that. Daniel could have been anything from a doctor to a grocery clerk. He just happens to be an Episcopal priest. Second, how can anybody send an e-mail complaining about a show they haven't seen yet?

I don’t think I’ll make it a point to continue watching the show. Then again, Friday night, who knows?